On Not Having Cancer

If you thought having cancer was hard, you should try not  having cancer. Before cancer, little ailments were just that.  Little.  Easy to explain.  During treatment, everything  was chemo’s fault.  After cancer, no matter how hard I try, one thought creeps back in…

Don’t get me wrong, I don’t obsess over cancer coming back.  Thankfully, I’m far more logical than I am emotional. So every time cancer creeps into my mind, I can convince myself pretty quickly that normal is normal.  I have a wonderful oncologist who has made it very clear what constitutes “more than normal” and requires an office visit.  And I know that she will listen to any concern I bring to her, no matter how irrational, with the utmost compassion and professional courtesy. But I can’t say that I’m not looking forward to the day when I am confident that my headache is just PMS.  At least I know that the blisters on my toes are my own fault.