Strong vs. Beautiful

Have you forgotten what I looked like this time last year?  With long hair?  I nearly have. Crystal took this top image just two days before Dragan shaved my head.  I loved my hair long.  So beautiful.

This picture is one Sally took last week.  I guess my hair really does look darker, now that I see these two images next to each other.  I was thinking it was closer to the same color as before.  Ah well.  Either way.

Still people ask, will I grow my hair back out?  Still, I answer with uncertainty.  I like it short, and I do get lots of compliments.  But the compliments have changed.  With long hair, those loose waves, usually people told me that I had beautiful hair.  And that’s an awesome compliment.  Who wouldn’t want to be beautiful?  With it short, the compliments are different. “You really rock that short hair.” People tell me that I look fierce, powerful, strong.  And those are great compliments, too.

I think of my family, my husband who fell in love with a girl with a ponytail, my daughter whose long hair is as much a part of her identity as mine used to be, and my sweet boy who is so empathetic that he is attached to my long hair because his sister is.  I imagine they’d love for things to be the way they used to be. And the idea of having that long, flowing hair is certainly attractive to me some days. But I’ve come to realize that even though we shouldn’t judge a book by its cover, most of us do. Hearing you’re beautiful? Always good. But today, I like the idea that when someone I don’t know sees me, words like strong, powerful, or fierce come to mind. I may change my mind tomorrow, but today, I’d rather be strong than beautiful.

Photography: Lily B Photography and Sally Brewer Photography Lipstick: MAC Dubonnet and NARS 413BLKR