It “snowed” this morning.  OK, yes, there was snow.  A teeny bit of snow, mostly some mushy slush.  But this was our first snow of the season, and we didn’t get any decent snow last year.  The schools were quick to call a two hour delay.  And I was quick to pull out the snow boots that I bought last year and still hadn’t worn.  When we scheduled my chemo a few weeks ago, there wasn’t an early morning appointment, and I was disappointed with my later appointment.  As it turns out, though, it worked out perfectly, the kids got on the bus two hours late and I headed to my (later than usual) appointment.  The big bummer was that I was arriving at the parking garage much later in the day than usual, and the snow had covered the parking lines on some of the exposed parts of the garage so people didn’t park as efficiently as usual, so I drove around forever looking for a parking space.  There is a sort of side lot that bumps off the main part of the garage and it’s not covered.  It’s a one way area, and when I saw two different cars starting to back out in that area, I headed in to wait for a spot.  Just as the first car backed out, a car came in the wrong way and swooped in, stealing the spot from me.  Fine.  At least there’s another one.  Wrong, some other joker followed that first car in and stole the second spot.  I can’t remember if I honked—I should have!—but I did quickly whip off my scarf and was sure to make eye contact with those law breakers.  They didn’t hop in the car and move to let me have the spot, but I sure hope they were at least a little embarrassed that they stole those spots from a bald chick!  (I did manage to find a spot eventually, but was at least ten or fifteen minutes late for my appointment.  Luckily they were understanding, everyone was late, it was a crazy day!)

After meeting with the surgical oncologist and plastic surgeon, my surgery is officially scheduled for February 27. It seems like it’s coming up so soon, I can’t believe how quickly this treatment is going by. Both surgeons have made sure that I know what to expect, and while the surgery is supposed to take the better part of the day, the plastic surgeon assured me that it is not major surgery. When I wake, my body won’t have to recover from significant physiological trauma, so recovery shouldn’t be too tough. I’ll stay in the hospital overnight and may have a nurse check on me at home to make sure that I’m healing well until I start my weekly visits with the plastic surgeon. They’ve also made sure that I have prescriptions for pain medication and physical therapy so that I can be ready when I go in for the surgery. The physical therapists will also visit me in the hospital, but visiting with someone ahead of time will make sure that I have an idea of what I should and should not be doing post-surgery. Apparently, while it is important not to overuse my arms or lift anything heavy, it is equally important not to sit around with my arms folded across my chest. By the end of two weeks, I should be able to resume most normal activities, though I imagine there will still be some lifting restrictions for a while. I was also cautioned at one point against blow drying my hair, but I’m thinking that’s not going to be such an issue!

In the meeting with the surgical oncologist, she did discuss the possibility of radiation. Given the results of my PET scan from October showing that the tumor seemed localized to the breast, I wasn’t thinking that radiation was very likely. She will still do a sentinel node biopsy– to check the first lymph node(s) from the breast. Cancer in these nodes would indicate a need for radiation, though again, it seems unlikely. However, the MRI did indicate that the initial tumor was close to the chest wall. (I still can’t decide why I didn’t know that before last week…) While the chemotherapy has shrunk the tumor to the point that it is no longer palpable (my doctors are all thrilled with that!), if any tumor remains close to the chest wall, radiation may be necessary after all. Clay keeps telling me that I should mentally plan on radiation so that I won’t be disappointed if I need it. And of course, it would be a nice “surprise” if I were able to skip that step. I’m having a little harder time with accepting the possibility of radiation, though. Going through additional treatment means more time spent at the hospital, potentially more fatigue, and more time away from my goal of just being normal. And because irradiated skin takes more time to heal, the reconstruction process will take much longer, too. I’m so thankful for all the prayers for my strength– I feel confident that God has continued to make my body strong enough to withstand so many of the ill effects of chemotherapy. And so now I would ask for your prayers that I might not need radiation, and that if radiation is necessary, that I will be able to keep it in perspective. In the grand scheme of things, a few more months to normal isn’t really all that much…

I’m trying to be better about posting here on a regular basis, I wouldn’t want anyone to think that a lapse in posts is because I’m feeling badly. But really, it’s not. It’s more likely either that I’m feeling well and too busy to sit down and post or that it doesn’t seem like there’s anything new to say.  The lack of posting lately has been a little of both, but there’s lots to say today, and I’m not to busy to say it all!

Thankfully, I’ve had pretty good energy for the last week, which came in handy as we hosted Turner’s sixth birthday party and I’ve made more red velvet cupcake than I care to count. (I think 48?) Today was the first day since mid-December where I didn’t feel like I needed to be planning something. To celebrate, I went for a run after the kids went to school! Such a luxury to be able to go for a run without getting up super early!

I had the “half way” appointment with my surgeon today.  The surgeon who I saw initially and who did my biopsy is leaving the practice, so I met with a new surgeon today.  She is consistently ranked among the top surgeons in local publications and I’ve met several women who have seen her and speak well of her, so I was optimistic.  She took time to make sure I understood the surgery and my options, and she helped me make the decisions that need to be made.  I feel very comfortable with her and am confident that she is a good choice.  Pending confirmation with the plastic surgeon who will begin the reconstructive process during the same surgery, we have penciled in my surgery for February 27.  Somehow just having a date set is a relief, it makes the end of all of this seem so much nearer.

This week will be my sixth chemo treatment.  Again, being on number six of eight is wonderful– almost to the end!  For the first time, though, I’ve opted to delay this treatment by a day, and will be doing it on Friday.  Thursday I will be attending the funeral of a friend whose life was taken far too soon by cancer.  Her daughter was in Emma Clare’s preschool class.  I worried quite a bit about sharing the news with Emma Clare, and had been praying that she would take it well.  I have to admit that I was surprised with how she handled it– with equal parts wisdom beyond her years and child like innocence.  She didn’t seem at all concerned that the same disease that claimed the life of her friend’s mother would claim mine, and I couldn’t have been happier.  Perhaps even better than I, she seemed to understand that our cancers, while similar, are different.  My friend had moved away just before learning of her recurrence, and even though she was dealing with her own health problems, far more grave than mine, she sent me a card with the most appropriate sentiment just a month or so ago.  Plus, she sent me a gift card to McDonald’s, which instantly brought a smile to my face– when she was on chemo several years ago, she was so sick, and an Egg McMuffin was the only thing that sounded good to her, so I used to take her one every once in a while.  I will miss my friend, and I pray for her husband and two sweet kiddos.  Her kindness and generosity touched many lives.  I am so thankful for the nurse at my oncologist’s office who was quick to rearrange my treatment schedule at the last minute (and without a single word of protest) so that I can celebrate her life surrounded by so many of our friends.

Happy New Year, all! We had a wonderful Christmas here, lots of food, family, and fun! It was such a delight to have my parents and my brother and his family. It was fun to celebrate Christmas at our house, and we were able to work in everyone’s traditions. On Christmas Eve, we decided to forgo a fancy meal and have our traditional [Holloway] Christmas Pizza– which we usually enjoy the night before we leave for our Christmas road trip to the grandparents. It’s easy, everyone loves it, and there are no leftovers to worry about before we open our presents from each other. This year after the Christmas Eve service at church, we all had some yummy pizza. Our guests headed back to their house (thanks again to Cecie’s cousin, Clay, for letting them house sit for her!) and we opened our family presents. Then Christmas morning, mom got to share the tradition her mom passed to her, and we all enjoyed her caramel rolls. That evening, Patrick made a delicious beef tenderloin, which I gather is becoming one of his signature dishes. Yes, I guess food does play a prominent role in our family traditions!  Besides all the eating, it was great to spend time with family.  The kiddos especially loved getting to spend time with their new cousin, Molly.

Two days after Christmas, it was back to reality, as I spent over five hours at the infusion center for the first of the second round of chemo treatments. This treatment was especially long since it’s a new drug for me and they wanted to be sure that I didn’t have any allergic reactions. It was a treat to have my mom come along with me this time, and I was glad for her to see that it really isn’t that bad! Since we were there so long, my dad brought lunch by, and he spent a few minutes with us, too.

This new treatment has a new set of side effects, and it seems that it’s going to fatigue me a bit more. Church on Sunday pretty much wore me out, and even after a super quick lunch and a long nap, I was still pretty useless. Luckily, I bounced back yesterday. After nearly a month of coughing incessantly, I finally stopped coughing enough to head out on a short run yesterday. I had to walk a little after a couple of big hills, but between taking some time off for the cough and being extra worn out from chemo, I’m counting that a victory!

I’m not one for making resolutions, and this year is no different. A big goal on my slate for this year was the Nike Women’s Half Marathon– Sally and I were planning to run it this spring. The timing won’t work with my surgery, so we’re setting our eyes on a half this fall. I know that the first part of this year will be difficult, three more chemo treatments to go followed by pretty significant surgery and the physical therapy, recovery and reconstruction process that will follow. But the best thing about 2013 is that I know that this time next year, as I welcome 2014, I will do so happy, healthy, and cancer free!

Yesterday I took a huge breath. While I was at a Christmas open house drinking coffee and catching up with friends, a crew affiliated with Cleaning for a Reason was getting my house all spic and span. I finished up another couple of Christmas errands and returned home to find a clean house and the night’s dinner waiting in my cooler, thanks to another sweet friend. After a quick lunch, I headed upstairs for my nap until it was time to head to the bus stop. Having figured our what to get for that last gift, my holiday stresses had disappeared!

The last errands have been run, so now it’s on to the fun of gift wrapping and welcoming guests for the holiday.  I’m guessing this will be a tiring holiday, but I know I’ll be thrilled to be worn out.  Let the fun begin!

I tend to think of the last week before a holiday as the calm before the storm. But not so much this year. With a week wiped out by bronchitis and sinus infection, any plans for “getting ahead” vanished quickly. Moments of calm, where I think I might be caught up, are interjected with moments of panic at all there is to do! Thankfully, we’re mostly finished with the school projects, and I think I only have two or three more gifts to pick out, then pick up. (It’s the picking out that’s really getting me!)

We’re looking forward to hosting Christmas at our house this year– kind of necessary as I have my “half way” appointment with my surgeon the day after Christmas and a chemo treatment the day after that. But we have been so blessed that the cousin of a dear friend has offered to share her home with my family while she is out of town! I remain overwhelmed by her generosity. And so we will be able to spend the holiday with my parents, my brother, his wife and their new baby without having to be on top of each other in our little house!  (Plus the new baby is a bit colicky—so I’m super glad she’s sleeping a mile or so away!)

While I look at this week as a bit of a storm of activity before what will hopefully be a calm holiday week, I hope to enjoy every bit of it. A few more things on the to-do list, a few fun activities, too… I may still have that lingering cough (keep those prayers coming!) but I’m not going to let that slow me down.

Tomorrow is chemo day #4. As in #4 of eight. So that will put me at the halfway mark of treatments. I can’t believe how quickly they’re going by. Being sick last week, I was a little worried that I might have to put off chemo this week. Luckily, my blood counts were all good enough to qualify me for chemo, so there’s no delay. This will be the last of my AC treatments, and I’ll start a new drug after Christmas. Apparently, the side effects of the new drug aren’t as “bad” as with AC, so it’s usually easier for people to tolerate. Since I’ve done so well with AC, I’m hoping that I’ll find the next one equally easy to tolerate.

I do still have a lingering cough that I’d love to get rid of, but I usually hang on to a cough for a while after I’ve been sick, so it’s really not all that unusual. That said, I don’t usually hang around that many people with compromised immune systems, and I really hate to cough around them, even if I’m not contagious. So if you could all pray this cough away, I’d be thrilled!

Ah, the magic of sleep. Yesterday, in addition to my normal 2-ish hour afternoon nap, I took almost a three hour morning nap. To all those who immediately wonder if I was then up all night– no, I had the best night of sleep in over a week! All that sleep, I’m sure coupled with the antibiotics, has left me a new person! I’m still eager for today’s long afternoon nap, but am feeling so much closer to normal. Turner was obviously back to school yesterday, letting me have plenty of time to nap, so I think things are about to get under control here. Which is good, considering all the holiday activities, projects (WHY do teachers think this a great time of year for big projects???), and shopping still on my list. And of course, there’s still that laundry…